I’ve realized over time that I go through cycles of enjoying MMOs vs moving away from them.

I used to be able to dedicate years to an MMO, and now it seems that only a few months is my limit. At least with FFXIV this time.

I started playing again in July, but haven’t logged into the game since mid-October. And a big part of that is FFXIV Endwalker.

FFXIV Endwalker

Back in August, I got myself through Heavensward and then just kind of… hit a wall. A wall of overwhelm.

I was starting to feel rushed to get to the Endwalker expansion, though much of that was pressure I was putting on myself. But it still caused some significant burnout.

So I decided to try and work on crafting and gathering, and get myself to a place where I was equal to the content I was working on at that time—Stormblood.

But then life happened, and I got back into DBD, and well… I stopped logging into FFXIV.

I thought about signing back in as Endwalker hit because I had pre-ordered it, but about that time is when I just decided to unsubscribe instead.

Unsubscribing from FFXIV

I figured as the FFXIV Endwalker expansion hit that there would be much fewer folks working through older content on alt characters or classes.

Which made me realize that getting through Stormblood for the first time would be even more of a struggle than I had already been finding it.

I also knew that I’d have an extremely difficult time avoiding spoilers for FFXIV Endwalker.

Mainly because I’m one of the few in my FC that is not at end-game. I mean, not that I truly know or play with anyone in the FC I’m in except possibly my polycule.

But as Endwalker has been out, I’ve had to mute it on Twitter to not get spoiled.

And then just thinking of the queues to play “old” content when the expansion is so new? I didn’t like the thought.

The only upside right now is that I’m not paying for a subscription for a game that I wouldn’t be able to truly get into and play anyway.

Because I’d also feel guilty for taking up someone’s spot playing “old” content (new for me) compared to the new expansion.

So, maybe in a few months queues just to login won’t be so atrocious, and working my way up to FFXIV Endwalker will be much more achievable.

I mean… that’s kind of it right now for games? I haven’t played a lot of DBD lately because I’m just enjoying FFXIV so much.

Like, way more than I thought I would, honestly. Maybe it’s currently my cozy game of choice?

I should probably spend some time in DBD at some point soon, though, to make the most of the rift pass I picked up!

Audio Books

I’m dealing with a lot of stress, and it’s making it difficult to feel the desire to read. I still want to read, mind, but just sitting down with a book is not as appealing right now as it has been.

So I’ve been reading more audio books than usual. Because they’re the easiest thing to work my way through at the current moment. They also allow me to also do things like gather in FFXIV, or spend time on chores, be creative in my bullet journal, etc.

This is post 30/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

Well, I decided that today I wanted to zerg my way through Weaver to unlock glamour stuff. But by the end of the day I had spent the million gil I picked up through quests and healer roulette queues just getting to level 40 weaver.

And I had to stop and think again. Why am I trying to rush crafting? The thing I enjoy the most in MMOs? Why am I trying to zerg my way through it? Does it fall back to the same reasons as yesterday?

In both WoW and WildStar I would spend hours so that I was self-sufficient with my crafting and gathering. That includes time leveling alts and their professions and gathering.

So when I can do everything on one character… why do I feel the need to rush? More and more I think going back to a gaming goals post will help me with that rushed feeling behind everything.

This is post 29/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

I really just want to do all the things. Explore everywhere I have unlocked. Do FATEs just because. Fill out all the different types of logs there are. But then I also feel like I have to rush to get to Endwalker.

But then I have to think about how I’ve never been playing at current level in FFXIV, so why am I rushing myself now?

Maybe I’m feeling pressure seeing so many folks I know at or close to end game, especially my polycule and partner? Or maybe it’s that whole unspoken MMO pressure to finish old content before the new stuff drops?

I dunno. But I do think that trying to catch up to Endwalker is a lofty goal. And I need to take things at my own pace right now. Maybe a gaming goals post at some point will help me sort it all out.

This is post 28/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

I had to search for advice to understanding the Armoire and Glamour Dresser but I finally found information on how to put things into them. I dislike that the Armoire doesn’t hold much, though.

Not all of my classes/jobs have been leveled up much because I’ve been zerging through the MSQ to try and get ready for Endwalker, but I decided after much waffling to get rid of the gear I wasn’t using outside of a base set of gear for each class. A lot of it overlaps which helps.

Now, my bags are clean! Though I still have much trepidation on trying to glamour stuff, because I don’t want to go through the work of doing it all individually and then also trying to re-glamour gear after I get upgrades.

This is post 25/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

The Rules

He starts with five rules for this exercise. The more detailed explanations can be found in his post.

1. The consequence for playing a sixth title? Playing anything outside of your pre-selected five titles will result in any gaming device you touch spontaneously combusting. (I mean, not truly, this is a thought-experiment!)
2. Selections aren’t limited to a certain platform.
3. All DLC for a given game is fine and included within your pick, including unreleased DLC at the time of your selection.
4. Mods and total conversions are okay.
5. Each entry in a series of games is considered an individual selection.

My Five Games

Honestly, right now I’m only playing two games regularly, and before picking up FFXIV I was only playing one game regularly. But because I can be fickle in my game choices, I will pick a few outside of my current main two as flex options for myself.

Dead by Daylight

At the current moment I’m not playing as much as I had been due to FFXIV currently being the poster child (I really want to experience stuff before Endwalker and try to catch up!), but it’s a game I’ve been playing consistently for the past year, I guess?

Back when DBD released, it was something I never thought I would actually play. But watching some streamers I enjoy play the game made me interested in trying it out.

Needless to say, I instantly became hooked. Pun intended.

But truly, it helped to re-awaken my interest in horror entertainment (novels, movies, etc.) that I lost long ago, and gave me a vast array of diverse content creators to follow on Twitch.

Final Fantasy XIV (FFXIV)

The current favor child. I’m loving the heck out of it right now.

But I am not fooled into thinking that I will stick with it for forever. I never do seem to stick with MMOs consistently. I flit around them constantly.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

While not a staple, this one is on the list because I use it as a way to have date nights with one of my besties. It would obviously need to be on the list so that I could spend quality time with her.

I still have a lot to do and unlock, and I enjoy hunting the collectibles. So it’s a good all-around choice if I need something to do.

Stardew Valley

While I am not currently as into it as I was earlier this year, it’s a game I spent a lot of time in when I finally got to try it out and play it the way I wanted to.

There’s still a lot for me to finish in this one as well, so I wouldn’t mind playing more of it at all!

Code: Realize – Wintertide Memories

Otome (and dating sim) games are some of my absolute favorite. I received this one as a gift and have yet to play it.

So I could put in about twenty more hours into the franchise to complete all the storylines, see all the CGs, and unlock all the achievements!

It’d take up at least a month’s worth of gaming time, and give me the flex to play something different.

This is post 20/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

Master Matoya has swiftly grown on me. She’s just… epic?? I enjoy pretty much everything that comes out of her mouth.

Except for the gag bit where she mis-genders Alphinaud mistaking him for his twin. That was annoying. But at least it was only in a single cutscene.

She also called out the eye-change that happened with Y’shtola after she’s rescued. It had been bothering me that her eyes were so different and off putting and neither Alphinaud nor Tataru had called it out. Not even her sister noticed!

So I’m at least glad that was addressed by Master Matoya… though I still have lots of questions on that particular point.

But the point of this post is really to just say I hope one day to be an even better version of Matoya myself.

This is post 19/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

The D.A.W. or Developer Appreciation Week is an event that used to happen in our blogging community but fell by the wayside. The idea behind it was it was a week to show our appreciation to the people that make all of those games that we love. The thing is over the years we have grown past just being a “gaming” thing, so for other communities it might be a time to reflect on your favorite Authors, Musicians or just Creatives in general.

I’m going to do a few different appreciation posts throughout the week, but today I wanted to start with games. I’ve really only been playing two games regularly right now: FFXIV and DBD. Though FFXIV has become the favorite as of late.

I’ve written longer posts before about the games and their developers that I appreciate, but today I just really want to shout out a thank you specifically to Dead by Daylight devs (who eventually listen to feedback) and FFXIV devs (who truly seem to care about the community, though Square as a whole needs to do better with the whole -isms within the company thing, but. Y’know.).

Thank you for giving me games that have been keeping me at least somewhat sane this year.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

This is post 16/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

Oh, Heavensward… why would you do this to me?

The ending of The Vault just… killed me. Haurchefant!

I don’t think a game has made me cry this hard for this long before. I’ve sobbed and snotted so hard that I have gone through a half roll of toilet paper.

And I think I have myself together enough to continue the MSQ.

[A Few Moments Later]

Oh Gods why??? The guards being all choked up has me absolutely sobbing again???

And then Count Edmont talks about what Haurchefant said to him and… I’m gone again.

How dare you do this to me, Heavensward? It’s fine, though. I still like you.

This is post 15/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!

Honestly, Ocean Fishing made it a breeze to level. I think for now, though, I’m done with gathering professions until I hit Stormblood.

So I guess… phase one, complete!

This is post 13/31 for Blaugust You can find out more and sign up over at Belghast’s post!