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Author: Chestnut

Unpopular Opinion: Movie Edition

Unpopular Opinion: Movie Edition

This post is (4/31) of the Blaugust 2019 event! You can find out more about Blaugust over at Belghast’s blog. I (Chestnut) created a Twitter list of all participants. UltrViolet created an OPML file of all the bloggers to import into your feed reader.

Something I’ve seen going around the blogosphere and twittersphere is this XKCD comic. And I figured it’d make a nice simple post to try to figure out which movie I like falls into this. I was a bit confused with “below 50%”, however, because there’s both an audience score and the “tomatometer”, so I decided to go by either score.

I found that one of my absolute favorite movies (starring Bill Nighy and Alan Rickman) scored a solid 19% on the Tomatometer, and a 55% on the audience score. What movie, you ask? Blow Dry.

A lot of complaints about the movie seem to be that it’s “too formulaic”, which, I agree, it is. But it’s sweet. It’s a story of choosing your family. It is one of the first representations of LGBTQIA+ family that I remember seeing. Plus it’s just funny and cute, and the soundtrack is so much fun. It’s one of those movies that I absolutely have to put on when I’m feeling terrible because I just can’t help but laugh at the quips that come standard with British humor.

Besides, it’s Alan Rickman. That’s honestly the reason I picked it up at Blockbuster the first time I saw it, but it’s not what made me love it. Have you guys done this “challenge” yet?

August ’19 Gaming Goals

August ’19 Gaming Goals

This post is (3/31) of the Blaugust 2019 event! You can find out more about Blaugust over at Belghast’s blog. I (Chestnut) created a Twitter list of all participants. UltrViolet created an OPML file of all the bloggers to import into your feed reader.

Gaming goals used to be something I posted monthly, but fell off at the end of 2018 with them due to, well, life. I figured I’d try to get back into them in some way or another, and Blaugust is a good opportunity to tackle that, especially as day job calms down a little bit with some reorg that’s happened recently, leaving me with some time for gaming that I haven’t truly had in quite a while.

I used to do goals as more of a running list of, “here’s things I want to accomplish, just maybe not necessarily this month!”. I kind of want to change that outlook, and make my lists a little more focused and truly month-based. So I plan to give it a try this month and see how it works out. Can I be more realistic about my goals? We shall see!

The Goals

In no particular order…

  • Complete Vvardenfell Master Angler (ESO)
  • Ding level 42 on Warden (ESO)
  • Hit Revered with The Unshackled (WoW)
  • Hit Revered with Rustbolt Resistance (WoW)
  • Ding level 30 on Conjurer (FFXIV)
  • Start re-watching MSQ cutscenes (FFXIV)
  • Finish a play through of Detroit: Become Human (PS4)
YouTube Binge: Try Not To Sing

YouTube Binge: Try Not To Sing

This post is (2/31) of the Blaugust 2019 event! You can find out more about Blaugust over at Belghast’s blog. I (Chestnut) created a Twitter list of all participants. UltrViolet created an OPML file of all the bloggers to import into your feed reader.

Today happens to be one of those days (that I mentioned in my prior post) where I’m adjusting what I may normally do to get a post out, but still be a tad interesting (hopefully). When I have rough days, sometimes it’s fun to binge on cute and fun YouTube videos. Most of the time I hit up the Royalty Soaps channel (and her brother’s new channel), because they’re just such peppy positive people, and how can you go wrong with watching some soap making?

Today, however, I found myself needing some music. But not just any music—music that makes you want to sing. I’ve watched some of the FBE channel on YouTube before, but most of the time the “[Age Range] Reacts!” videos don’t do it for me. Today, however, I stumbled on more of their “Try Not To Sing” series, and it was honestly just what I needed. At first it was easy not to sing along, but then all of their reactions and the songs themselves helped with the immediate feels and brought me back up to some semblance of normal. And then I found myself failing along with them, which was just as fun.

I know it’s not prompt week, but here’s a question for y’all: When you have a rough day, what kinds of things do you do to cheer you up?

When Chronic Illness Strikes

When Chronic Illness Strikes

This post is (1/31) of the Blaugust 2019 event! You can find out more about Blaugust over at Belghast’s blog. I (Chestnut) created a Twitter list of all participants. UltrViolet created an OPML file of all the bloggers to import into your feed reader.

Blaugust Has Begun!

Today marks the first day of Blaugust. This week, the theme is “Prep Week”. As explained by Bel, “This is a time for those of us in the community who have sorta figured this blogging thing out to help get you started with some tips and tricks style posts.”

I’m not always great at working within themes, but today inspiration came to me as I tried to work my way through another depressive episode to make this first post. (I’m fairly open about the fact that I have depression and anxiety. It’s something you may see mentioned here often.)

Chronic Illness Is a Thing

It’s a thing that many people deal with day-to-day, whether it be an invisible illness (mental illness, chronic pains, etc.) or a visible illness, it is something that can be especially draining. And some days, you just don’t have enough spoons to get done what needs to get done… so how does one even begin to tackle the “want to do”s, like blogging?

Well, that’s something you need to decide for yourself, but here’s some tips and tricks I use that may prove helpful for others.

Rabbit From a Hat

Sometimes it can feel like you’re doing magic tricks to tackle the “want to do”s. But there’s ways I’ve found to help me  manage that. I’m hoping they prove of some use to others.

  • Sometimes, accept that it just can’t be tackled and change your goal. I know the vast majority of us have lofty goals to try and complete all 31 days with no issue. But sometimes, goals need to be adjusted so that you don’t run yourself ragged. While I very much wanted to try to get this post out today (and I succeeded) I also had to accept that maybe it wasn’t a good day to try.
  • Find other avenues if it’s too much. For me, this sometimes means writing it down in my bullet journal until I get to a place where I have the energy to sit at the computer to re-write, tweak, and find images to go with it. On really bad days, it could mean that I use a voice recorder on my phone and just speak my ideas until I get to a place where I can transpose them. Maybe for you that means you just post an audio log and add an edit to a post later transposing it. Or maybe you just leave the audio as-is on your blog. Don’t hold yourself to just writing walls of text.
  • Don’t hold yourself to writing walls of text. Yes, I know I just said this, but don’t feel obligated to hold yourself to writing more than one or two paragraphs. A great example is Aeyvi‘s blog/website Screenographic. Her posts essentially consist of a batch of photos in a gallery format. While not a traditional “blog”, per se, it’s still an amazing resource, and one I love to indulge in. If you’re not feeling walls of text, don’t do it. Post a bunch of screenshots you took and give a sentence or two. Or even just one paragraph is enough. Microblogging is a valid form of blogging.
  • Get ahead on the good days. If you’re lucky enough to have a few days where your spoon management has paid off, you might have some extra energy/time. Use these to your advantage and start putting together draft posts. Then when you have a bad day, pull out these (hopefully at least mostly finished) posts, add a tweak or two, and post it. These will probably have to be something a little more evergreen in topic, but you can always adjust something later (assuming it isn’t about current events).
  • Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up. This is a trap that everyone falls into, and I can attest it can be difficult to practice what you preach. But it goes back to the first point: accept that you just might not be able to tackle it. Sometimes, we just can’t do everything. Chronic illness is tough. And, at least for me, I get in a mindset of, “how can I not even handle this? I must be terrible!”. Luckily I have a wonderful Manthing who reminds me that no, I’m just doing the best I can.

And I want to tell all of you, if you run into this… YOU. ARE. DOING. THE. BEST. YOU. CAN. It won’t necessarily look like someone else’s best-they-can, and that’s okay. You’re on your own journey. Use it to your advantage. Work with it. Find new ways to tackle things. Y’all got this.

Blaugust 2019 + Streaming Tweaks

Blaugust 2019 + Streaming Tweaks

Blaugust 2019

It’s that time of year, again! Time for Blaugust, 2019 rendition! I first participated back in 2015, and then again in 2016. Blaugust disappeared for 2017, and was reborn as something a little bit new and different in 2018 (and of course I participated again!).

Blaugust is a blogging festival/challenge for all types of bloggers, and, really, all types of serialized content creators. Be sure to check out Bel’s post for full details. If writing text-heavy blog posts isn’t your thing, or even if you just need ideas on what kind of content to create, Bel recently put together a list pulling from ideas folks have previously done.

My own goals for Blaugust are a big ask compared to my current attempted schedule of one blog post a week. I am going to temper these posts with some of the ideas from Bel’s list. Things you’ll see from me here during August (that I may or may not continue in the future):

  • Long, word-heavy blog posts sharing thoughts and feelings (Example)
  • Screenshots from games with a paragraph or two on thoughts related to the screenshot (Example)
  • VODs (from YouTube) of my Twitch streams with a paragraph of what went on during the stream (Example)

You will definitely be seeing a bunch of the VODs this month (2-3 per week). I also have a lot of screenshots I’ve been taking in ESO that will make their way into the blog this month as multi-screenshot posts. So maybe trying to post every day won’t be so much of a challenge as I am afraid it is.

Streaming Schedule Changes

Speaking of streaming, I’m contemplating adjusting my schedule again. As of now, my schedule is Sunday/Tuesday/Friday. More often than not I seem to end up cancelling Sundays. Tuesday and Friday seem to work out pretty well (vacations aside). I’d like to continue with three days, but I really feel like I need Sundays to get myself together and work on some of my other content creation. So I’m thinking/typing aloud:

  • Sunday: Need to use it as a “me” day, which I don’t have many of.
  • Monday: Monday Meeting Marathons at day job are definitely going to keep me from having any sort of energy. It is also raid night in WoW, and the night I typically try to do some meal prep for the week.
  • Tuesday: Currently streaming, and works out well! The 7 PM EDT time works out well, too.
  • Wednesday: This is date night, so streaming is pretty much out of the question.
  • Thursday: I have raid, but more often than not it is a day that I work remote, so I’m thinking of trying to fit in a shorter stream before raid. Maybe just a quick two-hour thing from 6 PM EDT to 8 PM EDT.
  • Friday: Currently streaming, but 8:30 PM EDT feels so late to start streaming. I mean, it’s helpful because I typically need to get some NSFW content finished and posted before I stream, but it also feels super stressful ending at midnight and still needing some down-time after streaming.
  • Saturday: This is pretty much my “hang out with people” day.

So I’m thinking my new schedule will look something like this. At the very least, it’s worth giving it a try for August and readjusting as necessary.

Achievement Unlocked: Didn’t Strangle Sun-in-Shadow

Achievement Unlocked: Didn’t Strangle Sun-in-Shadow

I started out in Vvardenfell as a new player because that is where the game happened to toss me, and I’ve been loving it. (I do plan to go back to do the Main Story once I finish Clockwork City and Summerset Isles, don’t worry!) The zone story and all of the side quests have been a lot of fun. Except the Sun-in-Shadow bit. I don’t think I’ve hated a set of quests so much as working with Sun-in-Shadow.

The way she treats other humanoids for her own personal gain, especially the fellow Argonian (Eoki) she claims to love? The whole line left kind of a sour taste in my mouth. I’d grumble and groan every time I had to do something with her. At one point I very much wanted to be able to strangle her after she did a particular action, but you can’t. That still doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be an achievement saying you didn’t strangle her, because it was definitely something I may have done if I could have.

E3 2019 Thoughts: Ubisoft/Square Enix/Nintendo

E3 2019 Thoughts: Ubisoft/Square Enix/Nintendo

And the follow up on my E3 thoughts! You can read the first part here, which covers EA, Microsoft, and Bethesda.

Ubisoft

  • Watch Dogs: Legion: Initial reaction – Oh yay, another bunch of dudes in a resistance cell in a dystopian future. Secondary reaction – GRANNY HACKER FOR THE WIN. Okay, I’m intrigued. This looks fun, and is story-driven the way I like. Also enjoyed the music. Never gotten into the IP, but this might be the tipping point for me to pick up the others to give them a whirl if I really enjoy this one. Really love the concept of how EVERY character has a story, so the replay value goes up a BUNCH. Especially if they all have unique missions to recruit them. Also speaks to my penchant for collection.
  • Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet: Meh. Okay, so long as it’s not anything like Always Sunny, I might watch it on a friend’s AppleTV?
  • Rainbow Six Siege: I don’t play just plain shooters. And meh, Tom Clancy.
  • Brawlhalla Adventure Time Crossover: Never seen Adventure Time, and I don’t do fighting games, typically. I mean, I’ve played Smash Bros, but not a big fan of it.
  • Ghost Recon Breakpoint: Nah thanks. (PUPPER! OMG Bam bam is adorable. So well behaved.)
  • Elite Sqaud: Nope.
  • Just Dance 2020: I’ve never played a Just Dance game before. I assume it’d be something up my alley since I loved DDR, but at the same time, not so sure.
  • For Honor: Shadows of the Hitokiri: Nah.
  • Rainbow Six Quarantine: Nope.
  • Division 2: Yeah, not a shooter fan.
  • UPlay+: Not interested.
  • Roller Champions: The trailer was cute, but not interested in it.
  • Gods & Monsters: I like the concept, but don’t know if it’s something I’d play.

Square Enix

  • FFXIV Remake: I’m sure I’ll play it eventually. But it doesn’t have the same symbolic importance to me that it does for others who played the original when they were younger.
  • Life is Strange 2: That reminds me i need to finish the others so I can get this. Because I’m looking forward to it. I love games that focus on storytelling.
  • FF Crystal Chronicles: No particular interest. I’m not a die hard FF fan like so many other gamers.
  • Octopath Traveler: Hasn’t it been out on Switch for a while? Oh, it’s on Steam now? Is that what the announcement was?
  • The Last Remnant Remastered: I don’t have a Switch. And I’m not particularly pumped by the trailer.
  • Dragon Quest Builders 2: No interest.
  • Dragon Quest XI Definitive Edition: No interest.
  • Circuit Superstars: No interest, but looks cute.
  • Batallion 1944: Shooters aren’t my thing.
  • FF Soundtracks: I’ll listen to them, they’re gorgeous music. Nice to have it on Spotify.
  • KH3 Re-Mind DLC: I’ve never really gotten into the KH games, and I don’t know why, considering how much I like Disney things.
  • FFXIV Shadowbringers: I’m glad so many people are so excited, but like, I still haven’t gotten past the base game.
  • Dying Light 2: See Microsoft/XBox.
  • Saga Games: No particular interest.
  • FFBE War of the Visions: Not interested.
  • Outriders: Don’t do shooters.
  • Oninaki: Not interested.
  • FFVIII Remastered: Like I said with VII, I don’t hold the same attachment to FF games that most other gamers do. So I don’t particularly have an interest until I decide to get into the IP outside of XIV/XV.
  • Marvel Avengers: Meh. As much as I’ve enjoyed the movie as a very long and involved story, and as much as I’ll continue to watch the movies, I really don’t particularly care for most superheroes.

Nintendo

  • General Thoughts: The gag with Bowser at the start was actually really cute and made me happy.
  • Smash Bros x Dragon Quest: I don’t play brawlers.
  • Dragon Quest XI Definitive Edition: See Squenix.
  • Luigi’s Mansion 3: I thought I saw a trailer for this not too long ago? Regardless, I’m not interested.
  • Dark Crystal Age of Resistance Tactics: Not particularly my type of game, but would pick it up on sale to play eventually because it’s Dark Crystal.
  • Legend of Zelda Link’s Awakening: Like FF, Zelda isn’t an IP I got into when it came out. So I’m not particularly interested in the game. Though I’m excited for friends who are.
  • Trials of Mana: It looks cute, but don’t know if I’ll play it.
  • Collection of Mana: RPGs like that really haven’t been my thing outside of Pokemon and Golden Sun.
  • Witcher 3: I still haven’t played any of the others, and honestly, I’d rather play them on PC than Switch.
  • Fire Emblem Three Houses: I still need to play all the other Fire Emblem games. Which I think are up my alley because of the romancing options and the story.
  • Resident Evil: It’s not an IP I’ve really gotten into, per se, but I do enjoy watching others play it.
  • No More Heroes 3: Not interested.
  • Contra Rogue Corps: Not interested.
  • Daemon x Machina: Not interested. I mean, I don’t mind mecha stuff, but the game doesn’t look like my cup of tea.
  • Panzer Dragoon: Not interested.
  • Pokemon Sword/Shield: I kind of want a Switch for these, amongst a few other games currently out.
  • Astral Chain: Not particularly interested in playing, though the trailer/story is intriguing. Maybe something I’ll watch folks stream.
  • Empire of Sin: Mobster stuff isn’t something I’m interested in.
  • Ultimate Alliance 3: Not interested.
  • Cadence of Hyrule: Okay that looks cute, and Crypt of the Necrodancer is neat, so I could see myself playing this.
  • Mario & Sonic Olympic Games: I could see myself playing this with the polycule.
  • Animal Crossing New Horizons: It looks cute, but I’ve never gotten into Animal Crossing in general. I do like that Nintendo is willing to take time for games, though, even if a vocal minority is pissed.
  • Quick Reel: The Sinking City looks positively cosmic horror, and cosmic horror is one of my favorite genres thanks to Secret World. (I mean, I don’t mind Lovecraft, but folks have done it better since him.)
  • Smash Bros x Banjo-Kazooie: See Smash Bros x Dragon Quest.
E3 2019 Thoughts: EA/Microsoft/Bethesda

E3 2019 Thoughts: EA/Microsoft/Bethesda

Much like last year, I’ve slowly been trying to catch up on E3 announcements, and document my thoughts on what each company has released. Just like last year, I’m behind. Illness and business are a deterrent to getting much done outside of necessity. So here’s my thoughts on the first three panels from E3 this year. I’m still working through Ubisoft, Square Enix, and Nintendo for another post.

EA

  • General Thoughts: The announcer for Star Wars was SUPER annoying.
  • Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order: An ARPG between episode 3 and 4 sounds interesting. But at the same time, I’m not interested enough to want to pay full price. Though I do want to know more about Saw Gerrera and how he ties into everything.
  • Apex Legends: It’s apparently a game that’s already out? Looks like a battle royale thing, which is not a genre I’m interested in.
  • Battlefield V: I don’t particularly care about the franchise, but from what I’ve read on it, the story looks interesting enough to think of picking it up on sale.
  • FIFA 20: I’m not a sports person. But I’m happy people are excited.
  • MADDEN NFL 20: See FIFA 20.
  • Sims 4: I can’t believe the Sims has been around for 20 years already. Island Living looks like a lot of fun. I mean, I’m behind because the packs cost so much, but… MERMAIDS. MERMAIDSMERMAIDSMERMAIDS. I guess I need to hope things go and stay on sale through my next paycheck so I can catch up and get back to playing some Sims 4! Also interested in the new magic pack. I know folks are upset that there’s no University, yet, but it’s never been one of my favorite packs in any of the Sims so far.

Microsoft/XBox

  • The Outer Worlds: Looks pretty cool! Reminds me a bit of Fallout, but somehow looks far more interesting. I’m all for other companies trying to take on open world RPGs.
  • Bleeding Edge: Competitive multiplayer. Nope. Next.
  • Ori and the Will of the Wisps: Wasn’t this already announced? Regardless, I’m not a platformer fan, so I won’t be getting it. I will probably get the soundtrack, though.
  • Minecraft Dungeons: Meh. I never got into Minecraft to begin with, so it’s not for me.
  • Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order: See EA.
  • Blair Witch: I’ve gotten into horror, more, as of late, and while I”m intrigued, I don’t know if I can handle a lot of first person camera jiggling and running. I’d have to watch some streams to see if it’s up my alley. I’ve also never watched the movie, so I don’t know how much it follows the plot of that, either.
  • Cyberpunk 2077: I’m so torn on this. I mean, yay, Keanu Reeves, but the trailer leaves me lacking based on other cyberpunk portrayals, especially the testosterone heavy aspect of it. I’m vaguely interested, but I won’t be picking it up until I can play something other than a straight white dude as the main character. And I’m not sure if I want to pick it up at full price, yet, or not. I’m just not… SOLD on it.
  • Spiritfarer: Looks really cute, but not sure if I’m interested.
  • Battletoads: Not for me.
  • The Legend of Wright: Maybe? What kind of game is this even? If I actually knew more about it I might be more inclined to look into it and get it? But for now, it’s a nah.
  • Microsoft Flight Simulator: I know a few friends who are probably interested in this, but I am not one of those people. Flying as a passenger is rough on my motion sickness, and I have no desire to do as a simulator as a pilot.
  • Age of Empires II Definitive: Again, not a game I’ll ever be interested in. RTS isn’t really my genre—it stresses me out way too much.
  • Wasteland 3: Post-apocalyptic blowy-uppy RPG? Eh, I’ll pass.
  • Psychonauts 2: Is this… a platformer? I mean, I know nothing about Psychonauts, but this doesn’t look like something I’d be interested in.
  • LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga: LEGO STAR WARS!! While I know I said I don’t enjoy platformers, there’s just something about the LEGO games that make me happy… even if I hvaen’t played much of them before except with some friends. But yes, I do want this one.
  • DBZ Kakarot: So, while I watched DBZ back when it was on TV in the 90s, it was never my favorite. It was more a convenience and the fact that I was engrossed with anime as a whole because it was so new to me. I won’t get this, I’m excited for friends that are excited, but this REALLY makes me yearn for a new Sailor Moon game. I mean, we’ve had a Crystal reboot, so why not a Crystal game? Even on Gameboy or something? I’d play the shit out of it REGARDLESS of genre.
  • 12 Minutes: I like the idea (time loop stories appeal to me for some reason), but don’t like the top-down way it’s presented, particularly.
  • Way to the Woods: Looks kinda cute, but don’t know if it’s something I’d enjoy.
  • Gears 5: Okay, so, the franchise has never appealed to me before: dudes go blow stuff up in a shooter. But with the introduction of a female protagonist, I’d be likely to give it a try, or at least watch streams to see if it’d be up my alley. Though Escape mode does look pretty cool, actually.
  • Dying Light 2: A parkour zombie game…. nah. Zombies are just overdone, and I could care less about survival horror stuff. I’d rather some RPG story and substance at every turn. Action games in general are not particularly my thing unless it has a great draw from story.
  • Forza Horizon 4 LEGO Expac: Forza games are not my thing, but I’m happy there’s so many folks excited about it. Wait… LEGO? LEGO expansion. That makes me happy, even if I won’t play it.
  • Gears Pop Mobile Game: I don’t even know what kind of mobile game it is, but I have enough trouble keeping up with the few mobile games I do have. So no.
  • State of Decay 2 Heartland: Again, zombies, though the story premises are intriguing.
  • Phantasy Star Online 2: Intrigued! But that’s all I really have to say about it. Is it an XBox One exclusive? I’ll have to do more research.
  • Crossfire X: What is it, a shooter? Regardless, no interest.
  • Tales of Arise: Isn’t this part of the “Tales” series? I haven’t played any of them, but a lot of folks have recommended them. Might look into it!
  • Borderlands 3: Yes.
  • Elden Ring: I need to know more about it, but I could care less about GoT, so the George RR Martin draw for a lot of folks isn’t there for me.
  • Project Scarlett: Next console? Are you freaking kidding me? I don’t even have a XBOX One. I still only have a 360.
  • Halo Infinite: Has never been of interest to me. Ever. Still isn’t. Though I’d watch a movie of it if it looked like this trailer.

Bethesda

  • General Thoughts: This is the only one I actually watched live because I wanted the ESO goodies. Also, that YEAH guy can go DIAF.
  • Elder Scrolls Blades: I don’t care to play it, but glad some folks are excited for it. Neat that it’s on Switch, too!
  • Fallout 76 Wastelanders/Nuclear Winter: Don’t play it. Don’t care to play it. I mean, it’s cool of them to say, “yeah we screwed up”, but at the same time, it’s not of interest to me, regardless of updates. Especially with the battle royale.
  • Ghostwire Tokyo: YES! (My reaction//Manthing reaction)
  • ESO: The trailer was so cool, and now I want to roll up a Necro. Though not yet. Eventually. I don’t know a lot about the Elder Scrolls universe, but having started ESO makes me want to know more outside of what I’ve picked up from Skyrim and ESO. Especially with the reactions with the trailer. I feel like I’m missing out on some lore based on character reactions.
  • Commander Keen:  Theme song thoughts. I’m not big on mobile games but I’m intrigued.
  • Elder Scrolls Legends: Card games in general aren’t my thing. So not particularly interested in playing.
  • Rage 2: Not my thing.
  • Wolfenstein Youngbloods: I have only two reasons I want to play. I’ve never played any of the Wolfenstein games, but if I enjoy this one, I’d go back and pick up the others to try.
  • Deathloop: It looks super cool! I definitely want to check it out.
  • DOOM: I tuned out. But I’d watch it on stream if some of my fave streamers played it.
Attempting TESO Again

Attempting TESO Again

Obligatory WoW Update

Just goofing around before Mekka.

Just a quick, obligatory, yes, I’m still playing WoW. The game hasn’t been of interest to me much outside of raiding. Which I know is a detriment for gear, but I just don’t get much enjoyment out of it right now outside of raiding with folks. We got Heroic Mekkatorque down last week, and will hopefully have the folks right before Jaina (I can’t remember their names and don’t feel like googling) down soon.

I’m hoping that the story becomes more engaging again, soon. I mean, Legion wasn’t the best expansion ever, but I at least felt like I had fun logging in to do things, and pursue various stories and class-based things. I think part of my lack of enthusiasm is also due to the whole, “factions fight each other, rawr!” bit, but that’s just speculation, because I haven’t had time to delve into the “whys”.

Back to Streaming!

As detailed in my last post, I want to try to better balance vanilla and NSFW endeavors, so I’m back to streaming this week!

Pigs Fly, and Hell Froze Over

What? AN ELF?

Since I’ve been so busy and burned out with real life, I’ve been trying to find a new game, again, that catches my fancy. I considered City of Heroes, but I’ve never been a bit superhero fan. So I figured why not give ESO a try, for the third time. The farthest I’ve gotten is level 8, but it’s never clicked. My assumption, before starting back up this particular time, was due to the fact that I wasn’t taking things at my own pace, and exploring the way I wanted to, because I was playing with other people.

So Manthing and I have come to a sort of agreement where we’ll still both be playing ESO, but sit in Discord and do our own things in game instead of trying to play it with characters together 100% of the time. And I’m enjoying both the extra time with him (seeing him only once a week is difficult, sometimes), and doing my own things in the game… even if that just means talking to every NPC I run into, reading every single book I open, and gathering everything I can with no care in the world.

I also decided to roll up a Bosmer, this time. “Wait, you’re playing an Elf, Chestnut?” Yep. For those that don’t know, I don’t like Elves in fantasy. I never really have. But I’ve been watching Aeyvi stream a bunch, lately, and saw that she had a Bosmer, but with horns.

And really, I’m all here for some Succubus Forest Witch shit, so I decided why not go Goth Bosmer? It’s definintely been making the game enjoyable for me, so I will concede that Elves maybe aren’t all bad, so long as they don’t follow the normal body shape and have horns, and I can pretend they practice sex magick.

Ambition/Apathy

Ambition/Apathy

Ambition

If you haven’t been keeping up with my (admittedly somewhat-dead) Twitter the past six months, you probably think I just fell off the face of the Earth. To some degree, that’s true of my vanilla life. That’s because I’ve been working on some new hustle I’m excited and ambitious about.

For those that have been around for a while, it may not come as a surprise that I’ve taken up online sex work and have started modeling. It’s just a natural extension of finding me (especially over the past almost three years).

I try not to overwhelm folks on my vanilla social, and by extension blog, with this information however, because I respect that many of my followers don’t follow me for that reason (though I greatly appreciate anybody who’s been supportive, regardless of whether they decide to follow and participate in the NSFW side of my life). So I’ve been on the quiet side as I worked on setting myself up for success.

I started up with adult content creation because I needed a way to express myself in ways that just writing couldn’t do it. It’s always been something I’ve been fascinated in, and have had a desire to participate in (to the chagrin of many people no longer in my life). So now that I’m in a spot in my life where I can try it, and I’ve a partner who’s supportive of it (and me), I am.

I’m enjoying it. I appreciate the new people I’ve met through it (especially my lovely mentor, Roxi Adore, who has a pretty awesome blog herself!). I just with that I had more energy. I’m dedicated to continuing (it’s not something I want to give up on for the foreseeable future), but I’ve been stuck in a rut.

Apathy

Photo by Goldframe PhotographyDespite being enthusiastic, and trying my hardest, there’s definitely been feelings of apathy and fatigue in my life, both within and outside of sex work.

I haven’t actually really gamed any outside of WoW raids, or leaving Idle Champions on in the background while I work.

I’ve been overworked at my day job (and quite honestly pretty burned out), and have been having a difficult time focusing and coping with life events. My chronic health problems have, if not worsened, held in a position where everything is uncomfortable both physically and mentally. My memory is pretty spotty at best.

And it all cycles into a spiral where I’m continually angry at myself and nothing improves, thus affecting everything else in my life.

I’m trying very hard to get out of the cycle (gods bless therapy), and to come up with small achievable goals and schedules for myself.

My plan is to be much more active come June on the vanilla side, and work hard on an achievable schedule (around day job) for the adult content creation.

I have a goal to post at least once a week here, and stream twice a week, pursuant to my day job and offline schedule.

I have goals for my adult content creation—post two clips a week, post in the NSFW blog (that I’m creating later this week) at least once a week, spend time recording clips and creating photo sets weekly.

I want to start reading more. I want to spend more time actively engaging in whatever non-print media I choose to consume rather than using it as a way to just “zone out” and end up scrolling through social feeds ignoring it.

I want to spend more time exploring my spirituality weekly, even if it’s just an hour a week. I want to push through the physical mess in my apartment that my depressive episodes result in.

And I might just write a little bit more about real-life here instead of just strictly gaming, because I have a feeling that’ll help me be better with the accountability of trying, rather than cloistering it away in my journal for maybe one or two pairs of eyes to see outside my own.